Strategies to Encourage Kids to Share

Undoubtedly, you've witnessed the tug-of-war over toys or the skirmish for the last cookie. The constant conflict between kids over tangible items can be incredibly stressful for parents, often disrupting their ability to accomplish tasks as they find themselves repeatedly intervening during independent playtime. Teaching children about sharing extends far beyond exchanging possessions; it serves as a gateway to developing vital life skills that mold their character and relationships. Exploring the hurdles children face in sharing unveils a terrain where their emerging self collides with the core principles of empathy and social interaction. Encouraging children to adopt the art of sharing requires a delicate mix of guidance, patience, and inventive strategies while honoring their autonomy and limits. Cultivating this essential skill revolves around fostering an environment that cherishes both the act of sharing and the freedom for children to choose when and how they participate in it. In this blog, we will explore effective parenting approaches aimed at fostering children's sharing habits while also addressing the development of emotional regulation.

 Establish Turn-Taking

Teaching the concept of taking turns as a form of sharing is a foundational skill that aids children in understanding fairness, patience, and respecting others' needs. Using timers or visual aids is an effective strategy to make this concept more tangible and comprehensible for children. Timers can serve as a visual representation of time, making it easier for children to grasp the idea of waiting for their turn. Additionally, incorporating verbal cues or reminders about turns helps reinforce the concept. For example, saying phrases like "It's Sarah's turn now, and then it will be your turn" helps children understand the sequence of sharing. When a child successfully waits for their turn without interrupting or demanding immediate access, acknowledging their patience reinforces the desired behavior.

Play Cooperative Games

Engage in games that inherently require sharing or cooperation, such as building blocks together or puzzles, or collaborative art projects --activities where sharing becomes a natural part of the experience. By engaging in these cooperative activities, children experience firsthand the rewards of collaboration and learn to communicate effectively, compromise, and develop a sense of interconnectedness. These experiences not only teach the value of sharing but also lay the groundwork for crucial social skills. Moreover, these activities create a positive and enjoyable environment where sharing becomes an integral part of a shared goal or outcome.

Set Clear Expectations

Setting clear expectations regarding sharing is vital for children to understand what's expected of them while nurturing a positive attitude toward this behavior. You might sit down with them and explain that while certain toys are considered 'shared toys' and can be enjoyed together, there are also 'personal toys' that belong to each child individually. You could establish a rule that shared toys should be available for both to use and enjoy, while personal toys are respected as belonging to each child and should not be taken without permission. Establishing these guidelines helps create a structured environment that promotes sharing without imposing undue pressures. These rules should be consistently applied across various situations. 

Encourage Problem-Solving and Offer Choices

Begin by acknowledging and validating the feelings of the children involved. Help them identify and express their emotions regarding the situation, phrases like 'It seems like both of you want to play with this toy'. Give children options to choose when they'd like to share or what they're comfortable sharing. Guide them through brainstorming potential solutions. Celebrate their joint efforts in resolving the issue, highlighting the positive aspects of compromise, cooperation, and empathy. 

Nurturing children's social skills, especially the art of sharing toys, requires a patient and time-intensive approach. There might be challenging days, and some children may take longer to grasp the concept of turn-taking. Seeking guidance from a family therapist can provide valuable support, aiding in navigating emotional experiences and transitions effectively.